Tape to your phone, open screen on a dating app, you “swipe” sometimes right, sometimes left with a distracted eye. Find a “date”? Child’s play. But why has this become a way of life for many of you?
“I met my boyfriend on the Internet, on the french chat site NRJ‘, we started talking, and since then, we never quit,” says Sofya, 20. Social networks, applications, fun sites … Internet is full of ways to train you to chat and find “the shot of a night” or sometimes even the soul mate.
Catherine Lejealle, sociologist specializing in the uses of digital technology and professor at ISC Paris, underlines the need of your generation to communicate beyond its private sphere: “We no longer dare ‘talk’, but we ‘pussy’ in permanently. The Internet has become a global village where you can choose your partner. ”
Needs met quickly
“On Tinder, we can find everything we want right away, if we want to spend the evening with someone, we are satisfied very quickly, that’s the principle,” says William. This is how the young man met his friend: “We met after a week, and our relationship started very quickly.”
According to the sociologist, this type of application seduces by its sides playful and easy to use: “Young adults do not care about the criteria posted on more traditional sites.Here, what matters are the friends or common interests , and more, the image that is returned. ”
Biberated social networks, some of you have circumvented their timidity through the Internet. For Catherine Lejealle, this is a break from previous generations: “On this type of application, because of the geolocation, the meeting is almost immediate.It is a generation in permanent demand.The way of communicating is in immediacy and ephemeral, as on Snapchat and the stories. ”
Dating applications can consume “love”, like other applications that offer services, such as Blablacar or Uber. “When you order an Uber, it arrives in the minutes that follow.On Tinder, it’s a bit the same thing: it only takes a ‘match’,” points Sofya.
For a night or for life …
“At that age, when you go to Tinder or NRJ Chat, it’s rarely to look for a soul mate, it’s often just for fun, or to fill a loneliness,” says the sociologist. For some, it’s obvious, these apps do not offer anything serious and are only useful to cross an emotional desert: “I use this application between two love stories, I know that I will never meet there. ‘Man of my dreams, but some have become friends and sometimes it’s more important,’ adds Olivia, 21.
Yet, some have found their “beautiful story”. William settled down with the man he met two years ago: “At first we had fun together, then we fell in love, we could never meet in real life, it’s that’s great too. ” Same scenario for Sofya, who has just seen her “crush” join her in Paris: “He lived in Marseille and he left his job so that we move in together.”
So the “big love”, possible or not? For Catherine Lejealle, a “sexfriend” is not very fulfilling in the long term: “Sexuality is more satisfactory if it is a prolonged relationship”. Collecting and not committing flatters the ego, but finding the right person builds self-confidence.
“The first risk is not having a real flash for the other.We do not select a person, but criteria mentioned on an application,” says the sociologist. The real encounter loses its essence, there is no room for love at first sight and the unknown.
The danger can also come from the person we meet, who can hide his true identity: “On Tinder or Happn, profiles come directly from the social network Facebook.This kind of risk is really very limited,” says Catherine Lejealle. But on other sites, the individual you are chatting with can lie about who you are talking to. Your only recourse: try to check it or use only secure applications.